Significance

Merriam Webster's Dictionary literally defines  significance as "the quality of being important".  Society puts so much weight on this.  What am I here for?  What does my life mean?  Have I made a difference?

This past week the pastor at our church was speaking on the topic of 'Our Greatest Fears'.  One of the fears that he discussed was significance.  He said he was speaking to those over 40 in the room, but I have to say, the message hit home with me too. 

Now that I have children, I have thought about this more and more.  Am I doing things correctly?  Will they remember this?  Am I leaving a legacy behind that my children will be proud of?  Or… am I sitting on my butt watching TV 10 hours a day. 

I would have to say that I am closer to the last of those options.  Yes, I could make many excuses.  I work full-time, have a house to take care of, have two young children, run a part-time business on the side… but excuses don't mean anything in the long run. 

I want to make an impact on my children.  I want them to see me leading by example.  I want them to be proud of me.  I want to make a difference in their lives! 

I know, I know, I am their mother… I am sure that most of you are thinking, 'You have already made a difference'.  I mean that I want to make a difference that will influence them for the good and forever. 

No person or endeavor will be able to give me significance.  This world offers success.  That is something that can be achieved with hard work through society's eyes.  I cannot find or achieve significance on my own.  If I want what I do to influence my children to be more like Christ, than I have to find it through Christ alone. 

Psalm 37:4-6 says, "Take delight in the LORD,  and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD;  trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.  (NIV)

Pastor Scott was discussing how the word 'delight' means to be soft and pliable and the word 'commit' means to roll up like a ball.  So, in my words, this passage says, "Make yourself pliable to the Lord's will, then His desires will become yours and the desires of your heart will be granted.  Roll your ways up and give them over to the Lord and he will reward you greatly." 

My Significance = Following Christ with all my heart and therefore leading my children toward Him.  My daily prayer is that my children will see  my love for God and find themselves in Him. 

What are you here for?

Surprise! :)

My brother is currently deployed, but we had the privilege of him being home for his R&R recently.  His actual date and time of arrival were a surprise for everyone but my dad. 

Noah (my 2.5 year old son) was at my parent's house overnight on Thursday night.  My dad will sometimes take Noah out for lunch when he stays the night. 

So, needless to say, when I arrived to pick the kids up and my dad was out to lunch with Noah, I was not overly surprised. 

As the time passed and it got later and then closer to Noah's naptime, I started to question why he was still gone.  In the back of my mind, I new my brother was coming home soon and wondered if that might be where he was at. 

Finally, they got home and my brother walked through the door after Noah and my dad.  Surprise!  :)

Apparently, Noah was very surprised!  While my brother has been gone, the kids have been talking to him on Skype regularly.   So, they see him often, but on the computer.

When my dad and Noah saw my brother at the airport, Noah got really excited!  Then my brother squatted down to give Noah and hug and say hi.  Noah kind of stopped and studied him. 

Ever so gently, Noah placed his hands on either side of my brothers face.  He petted it, and pinched it a little.  Kind of like he was trying to determine if it was real. 

After several moments of study, he decided that he was in fact real, and NOT a computer!  :)  Then he got excited again and hugged him!

How funny kids can be.  I wish I had been there to see his reaction to seeing my brother in person for the first time in months.  How sweet!

Is there a 'Kidtuition'?

My husband is in the Military and was deployed when my son was very young.  My son was born in August, and Matt left when Noah was just 3.5 months old.  (On my birthday I might add.)

We had decided to wait to have more children until Noah was older.  For several reasons, one being that Matt was missing most of Noah's first year and would need time to reintegrate.  Another being that we didn't want children too close together.

Well, if you have read any of my previous posts, you know that this did not work out!  God's plans are always better than ours though!

Matt ended up returning days before Noah's first birthday and apparently within a couple of weeks we were pregnant again. 

Being that Noah was so young, we were not sure how to explain the whole pregnancy or the baby that would eventually be coming home.  We talked often about baby sissy (once we found out it was girl) and how Noah was going to have a sister soon. 

He would smile and laugh and pat my belly.  Of course, we had no idea if it was actually clicking. 

Well, the day came and Jordyn was born.  Noah was staying with my dad during the labor and delivery process.  He came to the hospital shortly after Jordyn had been born. 

Now, this is what blows me away.  He walked into the hospital room and saw Jordyn, walked up to her and said 'Sissy'.  He KNEW immediately. 

How?  I still don't understand.   He was just over 1.5 years old when Jordyn was born.  But he knew, from the first moment that she was his family!  Is this an intuition that he had... 'Kidtuition'?  What do you think?  Has anyone else experienced this?

Ready, set, go... or get started at least!

One of the many things I have always wanted to do is run a marathon.  I know, a difficult goal, but still . 

That being said, I am currently probably in the worst shape of my life.  My plan is to run a marathon in 2014. 

The hardest part right now is trying to figure out how to schedule time to workout without taking time away from the family.  Right now, we are getting up sometime between 5:00 AM and 6:00 AM and the kids go down by 8:00 PM.  So, I am having to schedule around that. 

I am going to be starting a regular workout schedule this week for the first time since my daughter was born almost a year ago.   Being that I am not currently an early morning person, I will be working out after 8:00 PM for now. 

The goal is to start with approximately 30 minutes of cardio 4-5 days a week.  Eventually I will be working up to 60 minutes a day for 5-6 days a week. 

Once I have gotten back to a 'starting' place, I will begin a marathon training plan. 

This is definitely going to be an adventure.  I plan to keep updates about my progress… or set backs.  Here we go!  Keep me accountable!!

I am just going to say it...

Ok, listen… if you keep asking, I am just going to say it.  I am PREGNANT! 

(Picture taken from http://pregnancyoutreach.org/)

Hahaha, no really, I am NOT.  However, I HAVE had about six different people ask me in the last two weeks if I am. 

I was at one location this week, having a conversation with an acquaintance.   We were talking about my daughter, Jordyn, and her upcoming first birthday.  Discussing how quickly the time had gone by. 

Within a few minutes of the conversation, out of nowhere she asked… suddenly in a whisper… "So, are you pregnant again?"

I was actually taken aback.  First, thoughts that went through my mind:

1. What does that mean? 

2. Do I LOOK pregnant?

3. Why in the world would she think this?

I said, NO!  As gracefully and unshaken as I could sound.  Since this was not the first time someone had asked me this, I decided to ask a few questions… So, I asked, "Why would you think that?"  (Come on, this is starting to take a hit on my self confidence.)

The response she gave me was, "Well, it's about time isn't it?"

I am thinking, it's about time for what?  Apparently, my face said what I was thinking because she responded, "… you know, for you guys to get going again."

Time to get going again?  Why would someone ask me that?  Just because we had two children within two years does not mean that we are going to continue on that path. 

So, I told her, as graciously as I could.  "No, I am not pregnant and we are not currently planning on trying to GET pregnant anytime soon."  She looked almost disappointed, how funny. 

It is very interesting to me how people assume that everyone follows a 'trend' with having children.  If you start having kids this way, you will continue until you can't have any more!  LOL. 

Well, this is not the case for us.  We have one boy and one girl.  They are pretty close in age and the delivery for Jordyn was difficult. 

We haven't decided NOT to have any more children, I am not ready to write myself off yet.  But we also are not PLANNING on having any more at the moment. 

Until then, I think it's time to start hitting the gym harder!!